My F@$#ing Cancer Blog

It has been awhile since I posted in this blog. We primarily shifted updates to the facebook group simply because it is easier to access, but in some ways I like this format better. Our last update was that my July PET scan was clear... with caveats.  As with any cancer, it is important to keep up with regular checkups and scans, which we have been faithfully doing.  I had a chest CT conducted in September which was clear (same minor concerns from July with no changes). The next CT was done in January. I could tell from the tone of voice when the doctor called with the results that it was NOT good. They scheduled me for the next available PET scan to see if there was potential malignant activity. After the scan was done, they told me not leave the building as it was being immediately read. Naturally, I assumed this was to keep up their reputation for outstanding patient service and was no way an indication of the medical urgency 🙄. The next step was a trip to the pulmonol...

This blog won't make much sense to family and friends reading, but to the spouses of other head and neck cancer patients, it will help them try to get in front of the problem. I have seen so many post about "what can I do to help". Of course other caregivers speak up with sound advise. I thought I would put it all out there in one shopping list.     The doctor will have told you at the initial cancer diagnosis that treatment will be terrible. Immune systems will be compromised and you will watch your loved one's health decline day by day. I highly recommend you start doing whatever you can to help reinforce their immune system as much as possible. Give them multivitamins. Substitute herbal teas instead of coffee. One of the few things Ryan has been able to continue drinking the entire treatment is the sore throat tea I started making him. Multivitamins have been a challenge. At first it was the regular adult vitamin. After a couple of weeks, we downgraded to the c...

Comments from Carmen will be in RED ... It has been a few weeks since I wrote an update, so I thought it was time. We have completed 5 of the 8 chemotherapy sessions, so we are on the homestretch with my spa days. The radiation sessions have lived down to advertisement as the more challenging aspect of my treatments, and we have only completed 15 of 35 treatments. This is primarily a rundown of what life is like: The only noticeable effect from the chemotherapy has been a resurgence of my early teenage skin quality. The acne which was such a chick magnet in high school (magnetically repulsive that is) combined with my highly unstable voice have made me feel like a teenager again. Here's where Ryan really let his nerdy flag fly! From an engineering standpoint the radiation treatments are fascinating. As I discussed before they lay me flat on my back and use my custom mask to lock my head into place. The technicians then take a couple of minutes to align my body properly....

Chemo! Treatment #5 of 8 is done! One of the side effects we are seeing is  an acne like rash. It's like being a teenager all over again only without the energy levels. I hate to be such a scrooge but January can't get here fast enough! He's been having a hard time eating and swallowing and has realized that having a feeding tube is necessary. I've been giving him multivitamins every morning with his breakfast. First, the regular horse pill kind, then we went to a mint chewable. That didn't last long. A few days ago, we switched to the gummies. That didn't work long at all! This morning he said it felt like he had eaten a ghost pepper. My next line of attack is the liquid form. I already know that whatever flavor additives they put in them is going to be too much, so my plan is to add them into his morning shakes. He thinks they all taste like ass, so what's a little more flavor going to hurt. About those shakes.. at first they were just i...

Tuesday, December 5th, 2017 I am wrapping up the initial week of my treatment. I only had the initial chemo treatment last Wednesday which Carmen discussed earlier. It was much the same from my perspective. Chemotherapy starts with a pre-loading of Benedryl, steroids, and other drugs to counter any allergic reactions that may occur. This pre-loading gave me the sensation that I had always imagined would be the result of being shot with a tranquilizer dart, the sudden and rapid descent from a clear, lucid mind to feeling like I am swimming underwater. The weight on my eyes was unbearably heavy. After a forced nap for about an hour, the grogginess gradually lifted, and I was able to rejoin the world. The staff called that IV injection the "Happy Juice". I didn't care for it. Maybe next time I won't resist as hard as I first tried to. The staff were very friendly and attentive, to the extent that they acknowledged that my feelings of being stared at and watched were no...

We are on our way! 29 November 2017:  So here we are! It's treatment day! I told Ryan that he shouldn't trim his beard at all since Dr Meyer told him it would fall out and never grow back. Let's see how far it goes before it... goes. 😜 We, actually, started off the day at the dentist office. He is making Ryan some fluoride soaking trays to help prevent the dental problems that go with head and neck radiation. After a quick breakfast we rush over to the cancer treatment center... to sit and wait.. and wait... and wait... This fucking sucks😕 Behind every good man stands a wife.. trying to be nosy.. That's all chemo is really, sitting and waiting. They took his blood to check all the important levels, took him back to the back and hook up the IV, then let the pre-chemo meds drip in. I'm not sure what all is in that cocktail but it had a swimming effect! You could see it as it rolled over him. One minute he was social. The next, he was in desperate n...

November 14th: PET scan: A Proton Emission Topography exam consist of injecting flourine-18 fluid into my veins and allowing this radioactive liquid to flow through my body for an hour. They allowed Carmen to sit with me during this time. After this they scanned my body from my shins to my head with a scanner that looked for the beta decay of the fluorine to map out the activity in my body. The mapping process took about 18 minutes during which they were kind enough to provide warmed blankets. This was nice because the process was COLD. The technicians offered blankets for my arms which I foolishly declined because they were freezing during the procedure. As opposed to a MRI scan, this process was very quiet. The radiation dose I received during this one procedure was TWICE the entire ionizing radiation dosage I had received during my 23 years of working in the nuclear power business. No results were available immediately after this exam. I did find it interesting that the results were...