A glimpse into my mind

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Everything has been a whirlwind since Ryan noticed that lump. When I called the doctor to get an appointment, they didn't have one the same day. Luckily for us, someone cancelled and we were able to get in that afternoon. I am so thankful that our PA, Christina, recognized that this was not just an infection and sent him for an ultrasound right away.

Since then, it feels like we are in hurry up and wait mode. Why oh why do we have to wait till next week for an appointment! Don't they know this is an emergency?? Of course they know.  All their patients are emergencies... I don't care.. I'm feeling selfish. 

After meeting with the Radiation Oncologist, I decided that calories in should definitely be more than calories out! The treatment is harsh to the point where eventually his throat will be so sore he won't be able to swallow. While taking treatment, the doctors don't want him to lose too much weight. Eventually, he will have to have a feeding tube inserted directly into his stomach. They said his body will burn twice as many calories because it is trying to heal. Till then, he gets multivitamins, desserts, extra nutritional shakes, etc.. Got to keep him as healthy as possible before treatment begins. 

Thanksgiving is this week, and all I can think about are his upcoming appointments. Tomorrow morning, dentist for extra fluoride treatment, back to the radiation doctor to get his radiation mask made, then meeting with the Chemo Oncologist on the 27th. Wait... there's a holiday in between there somewhere.. Please don't take offense when I'm short and curt. I have other things on my mind. 

And if you do take offense, remember, I'm too busy worrying about other things to care..

- Carmen

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